3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
