tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
