after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
please don't ironically join a cult
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