it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
