so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
