He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
