Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
