Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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