So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize