You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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