it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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