There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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