Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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