So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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