I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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