Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
