I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
