I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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