Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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