I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
