The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
