she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
