either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Terrible idea I love it
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
