did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
