Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
