we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
