Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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