Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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