So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
