swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
