Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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