those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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