You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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