What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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