we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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