Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Dick very happy bro
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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