i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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