Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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