If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
