I just made out with a guy for $7.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
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I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
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so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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