True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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