Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
