super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I am available for nakedness
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
