New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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