I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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