I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
