What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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