real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
