So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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