I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
