Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
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I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
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It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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