**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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