Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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