My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
