you guys were way drunker than both of me
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
