if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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