Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
