Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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