i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
