when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
