The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
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I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
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i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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