Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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