i'm signing you up for texting rehab
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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