Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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