She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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